I recently received an email about Spring time and the theme of rebirth that feels so present at this time of year. It inspired me to be in touch and to share some of my news.
Óran is 17 months now and I have been feeling my creative wings yearning to take flight once more for some time now. Mamahood is a creative process in and of itself… and I am also woman, human, multi-faceted…
I feel excitement at having just agreed to facilitate at a couple of local festivals: This Earth Gathering, a festival for women where I shall be sharing a workshop called Validating the Wisdom of Your Living Body and Erti Suli, a family festival where I shall be sharing a workshop about Movement, Connection and Relationship to Ground / Earth as well as one for teens.
I am also happy to have found a training in Authentic Movement at the Karuna Institute, just around the corner, that will allow me to develop further and begins later in the year.
I’ve found, through this early stage of mothering, that it has been a process of tiny little spaces opening up as time flows steadily on. This has been both a breath of fresh air and, at times, frustrating as I have longed for some space and time to re-member myself.
Inner resources have kept me afloat; moving my body (even when Óran climbs all over me while I move); embodied relaxation; short moments of awareness and remembering my breath; the first breath of fresh air as I leave any building (I have come to LOVE this so much); communication and connection with my partner to maintain our bond with love; taking a shower and cold plunges to energise my body after long nights of little sleep…. there are many and all have been so helpful in their own rite.
And there are times when I feel everything is falling apart. Times when my insides feel outside, when the images of my world crumbling around me are strong and over bearing. Emotion runs high and the ground can often disappear from under my feet.
I have never had so much demanded of me with so little sleep and so little time for myself. I have never felt so exhausted…. And I have never felt so much love.
I believe it is this that keeps me going. My heart is asked, every day, to stretch a little further; to touch the ground and sky.
I witness my son develop and grow and I feel so grateful that he is here. And, it is with this renewed depth and love that I begin to see outwards again, that I begin to take steps back into the world of being woman…. and I will never be the same again.
Motherhood has, and always is, changing me – moment to moment. And as Spring seeds and will slowly shape into Summer, I am curious as to what will unfold in me as I feel creativity waking up and reaching outwards once more.